When Spouses Can Separate Peacefully: How to Have an Uncontested Divorce

Divorce does not always have to be as messy as you see in movies. When two people who want to end their marriage can agree on factors such as property division, child custody, and alimony, they do not have to go to battle it out in court.

Do You Need a Lawyer?

You and your partner have mutually agreed to go your separate ways. This is called uncontested divorce which basically means that both parties do not blame each other for the split. They can act decently, or even friendly, toward each other.

Once everything has been decided, you do not have to get a lawyer to represent you or your partner. You can file the paperwork yourself and be done with the process. However, it is recommended that you get a family lawyer to guide you. After all, you are entering the legal world; you need someone who knows their way around by your side.

Both parties do not have to get their own lawyers. One lawyer who is knowledgeable in family law can act as mediator and counsel to help you navigate the proceedings, oversee negotiations, and make sure that you have correctly filled out and filed the necessary documents.

Look into the Future

For the sake of your child, you will have to get along with your ex. Going to court to make accusations and bring up old wounds to get what you want will only destroy your friendship and make it difficult to face each other once this is all over. The process is only temporary.

Learn to forgive. If your partner cheated on you, let it go. There is no point bringing it up to torture everyone, including yourself and your child, for your ex’s shortcomings. Most likely, you, too, have done some things that contributed to the demise of your marriage.

Let it go. Put all your energy instead into creating a new life with your child — one where you can still be friends with your ex.

Your Child is Your Priority

girl holding a teddy bear

The divorce process is tough for everyone, but most especially to your child. Your child is probably feeling hurt and afraid. They might think that they will lose one of their parents. They might be blaming themself for the dissolution of their parents’ marriage.

That is why it is best to maintain a good relationship with your former spouse. If your child sees that their parents are fighting, they might feel worse about the situation.

Sit down with your ex and decide who gets to spend time with your child and when. Work on a schedule that works not just for both of you, but also considers your child’s needs.

It Will Not Always be Peaceful

There will be disagreements along the way. Do not worry. That is normal even in an amicable separation. You and your partner will have different desires.

However, do not let your emotions overcome and control you. Surround yourself with a support network composed of the people you trust the most. Better yet, go to therapy so you have a safe space to express your frustrations.

Divorces are always tough. There will be rough patches, but you do not have to fight your spouse in court. Having a peaceful separation is possible, as long as you follow these tips. Do it for you and your child’s sake.

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